Deux Ex Machina and The Da Vinci Code

Those who know me know that I don't like The Da Vinci Code.  I've always maintained that I find the subject matter interesting, but the ridiculous plot and poor writing completely cancel that out.  After recently seeing the movie, I have been able to better crystallize my criticisms of the story; i.e. it's much easier to see the crap when it's all condensed together in a short time frame.

One major annoyance that I had with the plot was the abundance of "deux ex machina" moments.  These are moments in a story where the characters seem to be in a hopeless situation, but then something completely unexpected or unrealistic comes along to bail them out of it.  This kind of plot device is okay if used in moderation, but it happens way too many times in Da Vinci.  To wit:

(Spoilers ahead...  although the spoilers basically amount to: they don't die.)

• Robert and Sophie are trapped in an armoured truck.  A villain is pointing a gun at them.  Instead of just shooting them, the villain decides to close the door of the truck, right onto a bullet shell casing that Robert had just happened to kick into the doorway.  The door bounces back and the villain comically bangs his head on it.  Yes, yes, I know in the book some explanation is given as to why he pushed the shell casing into the doorway... but really, I'm not going to go and read it again.
  
  
• Robert and Sophie are standing in some church.  A villain is pointing a gun at them.  Suddenly, a dove flies by and distracts the villain, who then proceeds to forget how to shoot a gun.  He fires and misses.  A dove flies by!  What is this, a John Woo movie?
  
  
• Ian McKellan is sitting in his house.  A villain (Silas the crazy monk) is pointing a gun at him.  He grabs his crutches and swings.  Incredibly, Silas, who we have just seen killing a nun with a single, well-timed and ruthless strike, fails to react fast enough to shoot Ian McKellan at point blank range.  I would expect Jackie Chan to be able to pull a move like that off, but Ian McKellan?  And this isn't Gandalf Ian McKellan.  Or Magneto Ian McKellan.  It's crippled scholar Ian McKellan!
  

And that's all I have to say about that.

The British and Baba Skins

During my recent trip to Cuba, I had the opportunity to observe the mysterious culture of the British people.... actually, it's more like, I had the opportunity to be completely confused by what they they were talking about.

I was sitting on a catamaran at the time, on a boat tour around some of the coral reefs near the island. A small boat is the perfect place for eavesdropping, as you can't help but overhear conversations in such a small space. Most of the other tourists on the boat were British, and one particular retirement-age couple were talking to the captain of the boat, a local Cuban man. They said to him, "Has anyone ever told you you look like baba skins?"

Baba skins?? Some sort of English culinary item? Like potato skins? I don't care how delicious it is, but I wouldn't want anyone telling me I look like a plate of food.

"I'm not familiar with him. I like Rowan Atkinson, though, he is also British," said the boat captain.

Okay, so it must be a British comedian or entertainer of some sort, as yet unknown in North America. Maybe "Baba Skins" is a goofy stage name, like Carrot Top. (still thinking food, here)

The British couple tried to clarify. "He was in that Jennifer Lopez movie... Maid In Manhattan."

Hmm... haven't seen that one.

"He was also in that cartoon... what was it called? Roger Rabbit!"

Ah! BOB HOSKINS! Amazingly, the boat captain actually agreed: "Oh, yes, I do look like him!"

The funny thing is, he didn't even look like Bob Hoskins... he looked more like Phil Collins.